Just another meme on Monday

The meme fairy must have been busy lately, because I got tagged with two today.

One I addressed privately (thanks, Donna; I'll have Santa drop a lump of coal in your stocking in exchange), but since the other came via MCF, and I owe him a solid for creating my spiffy new header graphic, I'll suck it up and deal.

Here's the premise: Take a list of characteristics that, according to some astrologer somewhere, are supposed to pertain to people born in your birth month, and evaluate which ones apply to you and which do not.

I was born in December — I'll be accepting gifts and well-wishes on the 19th — so here's my list. Bold text is "yes, that describes me," strike-through is "no, I'm nothing like that."

• Loyal and generous. I can be either or both, when it suits me.
  
• Sexy. Not according to People Magazine, but I think I've got skills.
  
• Patriotic. Not especially. I think it's arrogant to be fanatical about something you didn't have anything to do with, such as the country where you were born.
  
• Active in games and interactions. Does Jeopardy! count? Because otherwise, no.
  
• Impatient and hasty. That's the ADD talking.
  
• Ambitious. Not even remotely. I am the least career-driven, workaholic individual you're likely to encounter.
  
• Influential in organizations. Usually beyond my desire. I'm a lousy team player. I prefer to control my area of expertise, and to be left alone to do it.
  
• Fun to be with. With the right person, and when I feel like it.
  
• Loves to socialize. I am the poster child for antisociality.
  
• Loves praises. Sure, but who doesn't? Does anyone really enjoy criticism?
  
• Loves attention. Ditto.
  
• Loves to be loved. Triple ditto.
  
• Honest and trustworthy. Far less than you'd think. Then again, if I'm being honest in admitting to being dishonest, what does that tell you? And how would you know, anyway?
  
• Not pretending. All the world's a stage. And Uncle Swan, merely a player.
  
• Short tempered. It takes quite a charge to make me angry. Which is good, because you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
  
• Changing personality. I've grown older and perhaps wiser, but I don't believe my personality has changed in any fundamental way since I was in grade school.
  
• Not egotistic. I laugh at this one. I was raised an only child in an emotionally distant family. I am the very definition of self-importance. Why do you think I blog?
  
• Take high pride in oneself. See above.
  
• Hates restrictions. I'm pretty risk-averse for the most part. I like knowing where the boundaries are.
  
• Loves to joke. A priest, a rabbi, and Tom Cruise walk into a bar...
  
• Good sense of humor. I'll leave it to the reader to determine whether the adjective "good" applies.
  
• Logical. I tend to think in circuitous patterns. It's often not the logic that others would understand or appreciate — which is why I tend to see angles and possibilities that most people don't — but it's internally logical.

So there you have it. Roughly 50/50.

For the record, I believe the astrology is the worst kind of scam — it's pseudoreligion, designed to Hoover money out of the pockets of the weak-brained and gullible.

A simple demonstration: I remember seeing this news story years ago on ABC. Investigative reporter John Stossel handed a roomful of people, all with differing birth dates, written personality profiles that were supposed to be based on their horoscopes. When Stossel asked the participants how many of their profiles reflected their true personalities, about 90 percent raised their hands. Stossel then instructed the participants to exchange profiles with the person seated next to them.

You guessed it: They all received the exact same profile.