SwanShadow Thinks Out Loud: One quarter of the <em>Time</em> 100

Time Magazine yesterday released its list of "100 people who shape our world." The list is divided into several subcategories: artists and entertainers, scientists and thinkers, leaders and revolutionaries, heroes and pioneers (several of whom, including Bono, Angelina Jolie, Wynton Marsalis, and Paul Simon, seem to be overflow from the "artists and entertainers" section), and something called "builders and titans," a catch-all that covers everyone from casino magnate Steve Wynn to the creators of the Web site Flickr.com.

Since we here at SSTOL mostly deal in pop culture as our stock in trade, permit me to wax philosophical about Time's most influential artists and entertainers and the ways each of them has influenced me personally.

J.J. Abrams, creator of Alias and Lost and director of Mission: Impossible III. I have to give the guy credit. Who thought he would ever amount to anything when he was bellowing "Dy-No-Mite!" on Good Times?
George Clooney, actor and activist. Helped me forget the original Ocean's 11. Did not help me forget Adam West (or Michael Keaton, or even Val Kilmer) as Batman.
Dixie Chicks, country music trio. Country singers may be the only adult women in America still referring to themselves as "chicks."
Ellen DeGeneres, comedian and talk show host. The most overrated superstar of comedy since Jerry Lewis.
Nicolas Ghesquiere, fashion designer. Is it possible for him to design clothing for women who actually eat once in a while?
Wayne Gould, the New Zealander puzzle enthusiast who popularized sudoku. Once embarrassed me in my favorite Japanese restaurant, where I learned the hard way that sudoku does not mean "men's room."
Philip Seymour Hoffman, film actor. Kept me awake nights, fearful that the ghost of Truman Capote would attack me in my sleep.
Arianna Huffington, political blogger. What's she so huffy about?
Ang Lee, film director. Had he gone for the gay cowboy angle one film earlier, Hulk would have been a very different — and potentially more entertaining — movie.
Renzo Piano, architect. I didn't realize the guy who invented the instrument was still alive.
Rain, Japanese pop star. Liked him better when he was a Beatles tribute band.
Rachael Ray, cookbook author and Food Network star. Frustrates me, because I can't decide what I want to eat in 30 minutes, much less cook it.
Jeff Skoll, motion picture producer and founding president of eBay. Indirectly responsible for a significant portion of my comic art collection.
Kiki Smith, artist. I always confuse her with Kiki Dee. Or is it Kiki Vandeweghe?
Will Smith, movie star and former hip-hop royalty. Old and busted: Fresh Prince of Bel Air. New hotness: Tonight, He Comes.
Zadie Smith, novelist. You know what? There's too many doggoned Smiths on this list.
Howard Stern, king of all media. Not as clever as he thinks he is. As though he cares what I think.
Meryl Streep, film actor. A dingo ate her baby.
Reese Witherspoon, movie star. Has the pointiest chin I've ever seen on a woman. Love her peanut better cups, though. And the little M&M things.
Rob Pardo, creator of the video game World of Warcraft. What do I know? I could never keep my frog from getting run over by cars.
Daddy Yankee, Latin music artist. Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. No, wait... that's Damn Yankees. Never mind.
Tyra Banks, supermodel and reality show host. Easily the best-looking person on this list.
Dane Cook, stand-up comic. He makes me laugh. These days, that's golden.
Matt Drudge, cyberjournalist. As a former aspiring newshound myself, I both appreciate and abhor the Pandora's box he's opened. Appreciate that he makes the traditional media pursue tough stories they used to be able to conveniently ignore. Abhor that he does it with so little class, taste, or writing ability.
Stephen Colbert, faux news anchor. I find him pretentious and irritating, but maybe that's just me. Any man who achieves success on television despite having the world's most lopsided head must be doing something right.