Runaway rant

Now this is just ridiculous.

I didn't complain so much when she became the first actress to command $20 million per film. You take what they give you, I figured.

I gritted my teeth when she won three Golden Globes and an Oscar, despite the fact that she can't act worth a buffalo nickel. She has that indefinable something that people like, I reasoned.

I kept silent over her string of busted relationships with guys like Keifer Sutherland, Benjamin Bratt, and the inexplicable Lyle Lovett. Things happen between people, I said.

I even was willing to overlook her popping up in one of my favorite films of recent years, Ocean's Eleven, and its sequel. It's all box office, baby, I told myself.

But now my tolerance is exhausted. I've had all I can stand, and I can't stand any more.

A Supreme Court nomination?

Sure, she played Erin Brockovich, but that doesn't make her qualified to sit on the nation's highest bench. The decisions she authors will have the potential to impact this country for decades. And since she's only 37, she could conceivably hold that seat for the next 40 years or more. What the devil is the President thinking?

We can't allow this to happen. E-mail your Senator. Call your Congressperson. Fax the White House. Demand a response. Demand answers. Demand...

What?

Oh...John Roberts is Bush's nominee to replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Not Julia Roberts.

Never mind.