NHL: the Not Happening League

Former National Hockey League superstar Bobby Orr just doesn't get it.

In a column appearing yesterday in a Canadian newspaper, Orr writes, "Our sport is in danger of becoming irrelevant unless both sides immediately put an end to this nonsense."

Umm...in danger of becoming irrelevant?

Bobby, they canceled the entire season, and nobody except Bob and Doug McKenzie cared. Your sport is already irrelevant. Wake up and smell the back bacon burning, buddy.

Why? Because it's soccer on ice with sticks. And fighting. And you know how much we all love soccer around these parts. Want proof? Name two active male professional soccer players. I'll wait.

Waiting...

That's what I thought.

Hockey's like that, only with ugly sweaters and missing front teeth. No one's interested. That's why no one's protesting in the streets because the quest for Lord Stanley's Cup isn't underway right this very minute. We're busy watching the first month of baseball and the first thousand weeks of the NBA playoffs.

Teemu Selänne to you too.