Girl, you know it's not true

For my money, the real shocker in the Ashlee "Don't Call Me Jessica" Simpson lip-synching debacle isn't that the teenaged pop idol got caught doing the Milli Vanilli on Saturday Night Live.

It's that anyone still watches Saturday Night Live.

I haven't viewed SNL with any regularity since Eddie Murphy was the show's big star. I used to pop in occasionally for "Weekend Update" when Dennis Miller did it, then sporadically during the Kevin Nealon and Norm McDonald periods. The program's sketch comedy and my sense of humor long since parted company, as attested by the fact that I don't find any of the show's more recent alumni the least bit funny. I think the last regular cast member I liked was Tim Meadows, whose "Ladies' Man" segments were always good for a laugh. (The movie that sketch spawned, on the other hand, sucked swamp water through a cocktail straw.)

The original SNL cast, of course, was nonpareil, even though a fair portion of their success came from being first. Seriously, when was the last time you saw Laraine Newman, Garrett Morris, or, for that matter, Chevy Chase in something that was actually good?